Shoes

My youngest son has as it seems, recovered from his first broken heart. Being that much in love at the tender age of eighteen is a tenuous situation.


He cried . Wailed. Great body wrenching sobs. I held him for hours on the couch, in the dark. Two, three nights in a row. I came home from work and found him on the floor in his bedroom. Slumped against his dresser, head fallen forward on his chest. I called his name. I could not see him moving. No rise and fall of his chest. I could not rush to him I could not move. My feet were surely nailed to the floor, my mind willing them to move. Lowering myself to my knees I moved very gently out of the hallway and into the bedroom. Two fingers touched his cheek.


My most profound fear still lives in a place of my heart.


Yesterday my son bought his new love a pair of shoes for Valentine's Day and he is cooking her dinner tonight. (A little advice not to overcook the shrimp via a cell phone text). He left me a message on the refrigerator with my grandson's alphabet magnets. "I love you"





It took two and a half years.


I navigate the mixture of emotions carefully..don't give telltale signs (or words) lest I tip him off that I are terrified that the relationship most likely won't last a lifetime.......

I know, it is a GIRL holiday. Get over it. Buy chocolate, flowers, diamonds, cut a heart out of any kind of paper and write I love you on it. Make the bed, draw a small heart on the bathroom mirror ( then be the one to clean it up). kiss her eyelids, take the kids to the park so she can take a nap..put your coffee cup in the dishwasher.

Let your heart

for a

day be

the

winner.

You will be "banking" more than

Gift from our Government

Our Rebate checks according to officio's, should begin arriving sometime in May.

This is going to save the United States of America from a recession.

We will gleefully clutch our rebate checks and with rosy cheeks and breathless excitement will run to the local Walmart and buy items from China. Duh.

Or like the vast majority of us"middle incom-ers" hahahahah sorry, let me compose my silly self..we will bend to more extravagant pleasures like paying the overdue payment on a credit card, or the late electric bill or even go to the grocery and splurge not on macaroni and cheese but HAMBURGER!

Fast forward to April 15 2009. Income taxes must be filed or in the mail, and guess what? That $600 or $1200 check you got last year..yup...please subtract if from any refund you might be getting. See it is not a GIFT from the government..it is a LOAN, of our own money that the government gave us to keep us out of a recession so that we could go out and buy American products from small mom and pop businesses that are about to close so that we can pay it back next year to ourselves no uh the government uh but it is our money uh but it is a rebate uh..oh hell...I am going to buy a bottle of wine (French) and have a bag of popcorn (American) and ..............think of another rant.